Wish me luck...
2 Feb 2008
I woke up this morning like I do quite often lately. I started coughing and then I couldn't breath. I'm no doctor, and there's no point going to one if I don't quit the cause of what may be the start of emphysema. I was 13 when I started and I never wanted to stop. I want my cake and eat it too. I want to wake up in the morning, have my coffee, enjoy my smoke AND get to live to see grandkids. After 27 years of smoking, it's part of my daily life and routine. The minute I need to think I lay back and light up, the minute I make a coffee I take out the pack. Even those ugly photos on the packs don't make me wince any more. It took about 5 hours before I wanted to smoke this morning. It was almost afternoon when I could breathe enough to contemplate it. Since then I've had 3 smokes and it's getting later into the evening. I've got a nicotine inhaler in my hands right now. I took a puff or two but feel funny with the taste. I'm holding the inhaler and biting on it, pretending it's a ciggie. I'm feeling the cravings and still don't want to quit. My whole day has been consumed thinking about this and no work has been done, nothing been gained from today's events. All I've done is look for advice on the net abou how to quit. If only I manage to quit after today, I will have gained my life back. I'm finding it hard but I'm pretty sure I want to see my kids grow up. I've stocked up on nicotine inhaler refills and coke zero. I'll avoid the coffee and try to keep away from the smokes. Making no promises, just hoping I can do this so my kids will still have a mum to run to in a few years from now. Please, wish me luck... as I wish everyone here, luck and the guts to pull it off! Good luck to all!!!
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