I am 12 days into breaking the addiction that has possessed me for 24 years! I am doing this for my son. He is nearly four years old and I am a single mother.
If I were not here he would have nobody. This is his Christmas present from me.
A mother who is not killing herself. A little bit better than a bike, huh? We have been with my family overseas during Christmas so the first week has been pretty easy - I have been hiding the fact that I started smoking again after a nine-month 'pregnancy break' and it is bearable not smoking around mum and dad because I have practised it before.
Today is the first day back home and I look at the balcony where I would sit and smoke about 20 cigarettes a day, and boy do I crave one!
But then I look at my son and his long eyelashes, scuffed knees and lust for life and think about how his world would be torn into a million little pieces if I were given the death sentence that I have a 50-50 chance of receiving.
My tip to win this battle against the nicotine monster: Think about how your babies would take it if you sat them down to tell them you were going to die. Think about that the next time you have a cigarette. Tastes pretty bad doesn't it?
